I'm gonna have a badass scar
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
