piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize