He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
love makes seman taste better
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
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My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.