apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.