just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
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Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.