Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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