Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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