He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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