that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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