belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
