I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
