who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize