He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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