just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
