Why are handjobs necessary in class?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I DEMAND FORESKIN
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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