she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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