dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
that is very illegal...i love you.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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