i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My penis needs a shock collar
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
