butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
