I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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