I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
