Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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