I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize