you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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