i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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