she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
