when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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