i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize