Welp...herpes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize