3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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