Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Shame is for Republicans.
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