well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I party with great urgency now.
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