You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
