just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize