No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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