she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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