i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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