oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
