I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
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Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize