I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
