our cab driver is having phone sex.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
