Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day