he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us