Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
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Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
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I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?