if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.