I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
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at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
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also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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