you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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