Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
