I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I smell like Dick and happiness
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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