You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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