Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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