shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
