Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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