I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize