A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Too much gin, very little bucket
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize