We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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